Late on a Friday afternoon I prepared to see a new client, Tim and Carrie, for marriage counseling. After a quick prayer, I headed to the lobby to greet the couple and found them sitting together on the couch but with a decent separation between them.

As they noticed me, Tim stood up and greeted me with a nervous handshake and a petrified look on his face. Carrie placed a smile on her face, but I could already see the frustration behind her façade.

Carrie had called me earlier in the week desperately needing something to change in their marriage. I probed a little deeper into what was going on in their marriage and she unloaded easily.

“Tim seems like he is just not into me anymore; we feel like roommates more than husband and wife. We make pretty good money, but he is always at work. When he does come home, he’s down in his office claiming to be working but I suspect it might be pornography. When we do get a chance to talk, it is usually about things going on around the house and I feel like I have to constantly tell him what to do, especially when it comes to leading the family and kids. I hate being the one who has to do everything!” She stopped suddenly as if she may have said too much.

I asked how conversations about their futures went, and Carrie explained that all personal conversations have to happen in bed. He was usually quiet and didn’t invite her into what’s going on with him. If he opened, she’d inquire more, and he’d either explode in anger or feel bad about what hadn’t happened. He’d shift the blame to someone else, made excuses about why they couldn’t do something, or make promises about changing but never follow through.

In telling me this, Carrie began to choke up, “I can’t continue on like this. I had to threaten to leave him in order to get him to consider counseling.”

We agreed upon an appointment time, and Carrie breathed a sigh of relief. This was her last hope.